What Does Being "Alone" Really Mean?

I love this photograph, above! Primarily because the woman in it seems pretty cool and looks like a true badass while she is doing something usually associated with "loneliness"-playing solitaire. 

I've never been married, and spent a good portion of my life un-partnered. I also do not have children. I had a blip as I was typing this, because it made me pretty vulnerable writing that. But it's true. 

I never wanted to get married, even as a child. Never once had even imagined my wedding. Strange as it seems, my fantasy future life just did not include these things. And the older I become, I am left to evaluate and reflect upon my choices: Should I have frozen my eggs? Could I have settled, and just picked someone to go after and marry? Should I have tried harder to have a family? 

It's very interesting living in large city, especially one like Los Angeles, which, as un-conservative as it may seem, still has a very conservative feel when it comes to relationships and family. Yes, the partnering which occur may be "unconventional," or out of the norm, but they are still basic templates and structures we all so easily recognize. 

The truth is I have more anxiety worrying about the fact that I SHOULD be more worried being single right now! I have great friends, a social life that suits me, and a family and a niece and nephew, especially, with whom I am very close, and with whom I see and spend a lot of time. Do I want to be cooking for someone, traveling with someone? Of course. But the someone I need has not yet manifested. I don't online date, and try to stay as open as I can. 

What does being "alone" truly mean in this day and age?

I suppose, for me, it offers the excitement of a future that can change at any moment and is truly limitless, in that sense. The great downside is, our time on this earth is not limitless. Trying to stay in peace with whatever state you are in-married, with children, single, etc, I feel is the key, if there ever is one. 

I am writing this post to present a model of someone, a woman, who is quite happy in the present moment being "alone." My wish is to pass this feeling on to you, however you may be currently partnered (or not!) . xo

(Me, Francesca, below, sending good vibes to YOU!)