Everyone from the ever-hustling and magnetic Tony Robbins to the most zenned out of Buddhists will almost universally agree: You are who you hang out with. But what if this, well, admonition, if you want to be honest, wasn't entirely true? What if the whole of your experience as a person on this earth does not solely have to rely on what you have accomplished, or how much you have "succeeded?" How can you keep the people in your life balanced, when you don't want to hang out all the time, but they still make up who and what you are as a person? The answer is simple: Boundaries. Made to be reinvented and re-implemented in an ever-changing way.
I know. If you are someone who feints at the thought of hurting anyone's feelings, I feel ya, believe me! Especially if that someone has been quite close to you, or has been a huge, integral part of your life. Birds of a feather do flock together, but they also pair off, fly in different squadrons, even go solo for a little while. It's important to recognize what you want in your life via your friendships, how much you can or want to give, and what you need. And to respect the very same in others.
It is essential to find the friends and collaborators who will feed your soul, partner on future projects and have like-minded career goals and life values. But- what about those who have served a purpose in your life? Is it important to "cut them out?" I don't think so. Unless someone is sucking the true life out of you, consider this:
What if the tapestry of your relationships can form a quilt of a different stripe, if you look it at that way? If you can try to balance personal and emotional boundaries within your flock of friends, and know who to limit your time with, reserve more space in your life for, and be aware of which old pal is always down for a drink or coffee or tea when times are tough- might that also work for you? Your friendships can weave a thick, warm tapestry that make up the richness and memories of your life! Good and bad, these friends have been there for you-in one way, or the other. Respect this tapestry, and honor your own needs and boundaries, and watch as you all fly, up and away, together. xo